There are a number of things, including one big stone I have yet to move. Even as 2011 slams into my reality, the quasi courage that comes with the liberating promise of a new start is somehow insufficient to move me to certain action.
Fear truly paralyzes. But as I talk with friends, exchange opinions, and understand the people outside my person, I find myself growing in my own identity.
Perfect love I think is an all-encompassing blanket for a myriad of fears. The feeling of unconditional acceptance gives free rein for a person to develop. I think I'm artificially creating this atmosphere by avoiding all sorts of criticism. Denying/avoiding negative remarks creates a somewhat safe environment where I can explore and feel free. But how real is this?
I have had the honor of meeting a few people that I can truly share all that is on my mind (and I mean the works, good, bad and ugly - everything), without worry of facing judgement. Frankly this restores my hope in deep friendship. And deep friendship by the way does not involve constant waxing philosophy and textbook character building theories. A deep friendship is one where complete honesty just rises to the surface. Even while doing stupid things in stupid places =D Since this is a public blog, I'm not taking any chances. After all, this is not the right space=P
As for the big stone. It's slowly but surely getting smaller.
Happy new year.
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